


Montoya?

by thisprentiss



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Episode: s01e04 Arkham, F/M, Internalized Transphobia, Trans Character, anyway this is just a continuation of that one scene where jim is really pissed that barbara is bi?, idk i just thought of this and Jotted This Shit Down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisprentiss/pseuds/thisprentiss
Summary: continuation of the scene in season 1 episode 4 where barbara comes out to jim as bi and he gets really mad. anyway it's because he's trans and nervous which is Relatable





	Montoya?

**Author's Note:**

> i always got weird feelings from that scene and i wasn't really a fan so here's my Thoughts on why jim was so upset that barbara is bi that don't have to do with him being Gross

"Montoya?"

Barbara could hear the realization in Jim's voice before she even looked at his face, and when she did, she couldn't do anything more than take a deep breath and look away again. Jim took a step forward, brow furrowing in what was quickly turning into anger.

"She came to see you, didn't she?" it was more of a statement than a question. Barbara looked up, annoyance clear on her face.

"Yes." That was all. No explanation. Just a simple 'yes.' Jim could feel his jaw tensing up as Barbara stared him down, waiting for him to push more, her expression screaming _try me, bitch._ She wanted him to either back off or spill about Cobblepot.

Jim just steeled his face. "Why does she keep coming to you?" he demanded, getting just a little closer, "What _is it_ between you and her!?"

For a second, it looked like Barbara was going to snap back, something else deflective. But then her eyes fell away from him toward the ground, bitter expression softening. She took a deep breath. It was almost like she was... nervous. Shifting from one foot to the other, Barbara swirled her wine in it's glass and then looked back up at Jim.

"Years ago, b- before I was with you..." she trailed off, swallowing, and Jim searched her face for what she was possibly going to say next. Barbara pursed her lips and took another breath. "She and I... were in a relationship."

The silence so thick it could be cut with a knife.

Jim stared at her blankly, he was so confused, so scared, years of anxiety and self hatred and doubt suddenly flooding back into his mind to the point where he couldn't do anything but let out a vaguely angry sounding, "What?"

Barbara was looking away from him again, shaking her head, "It only lasted a year. And then I- I ended it and moved on." With the last words she looked back up at him, holding firm eye contact now.

"And what, she didn't?" his voice sounded thick, forced, upset; even he could hear it.

"I don't know," by the look on Barbara's face, she was quickly regretting telling him. But she moved toward him anyway, licking her lips and reaching a hand up toward his face. "I don't care, okay? Because _you_ are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Before she could touch him, Jim turned his back toward her, taking a few steps away. He could hear her putting the wine glass down on the table behind him.

"What?" she asked, annoyed tone back in her voice, "You're angry?"

He shot a glance back at her. "What do you think?"

"Because she's a woman?"

"Because-" Jim whirled on her, pointing a harsh finger in her face, "Because you _lied_ to me!"

The unspoken words he was trying to express obviously got through, because Barbara blinked several times with her mouth hanging slightly open. Realization was dawning on her face.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Barbara's tone had softened just a little bit, "I should've told you."

Jim looked her up and down in what could only be described as _betrayal._

"Jim," Barbara tried again, taking a step toward him. Jim matched her step going backwards, keeping the distance between them.

"Why didn't you tell me? Right off the bat, why didn't you tell me?" Jim demanded, and under any other circumstances he would've been embarrassed at how shaky his voice sounded.

"Because of this, okay!?" Barbara said, voice sounding agitated, "I knew how personally you would take it! I told you I was straight because if I'd said I was bisexual you'd think I didn't see you as a man, like I was only attracted to you 'cause of your vag!"

"Well aren't you!?" Jim growled bitterly, and Barbara made a disgusted sounding scoff.

"Seriously Jim!? Oh my _God,_ I told you I was straight because I _really_ , _really_ liked you, okay!? And I didn't want you to freak out or anything! You know, like you're doing right now!? I lied because I cared! I just- I thought it would make you feel more comfortable in our relationship, or something if you didn't know I liked girls too-"

"Yeah, I feel real comfortable, B!" Jim's voice cracked up several octaves as tears started blurring his vision; he could feel his heart pounding so hard it was like it was going to come out of his chest, "I just- you should've just told me the _truth!_ "

"If I told you the truth back then we probably never would've started dating! And I love you, Jim!" she cried, hands clenched into fists at her sides, "I'm bi, not a lesbian! You shouldn't be so- so  _freaked out!_ "

"Look, I  _get that_ , and I'm hearing you say that, but all I can hear when you say you've dated women is that you never saw me as a man!" Jim could feel that he was crying - it was kind of embarrassing. But he was already spiralling down toward a full-on anxiety attack and he wasn't sure he could do anything to stop it. "You should've just  _told me!_ "

Barbara looked like she was going to start shouting again, but then she took several deep breaths and pursed her lips. "I- No, you're right," she moved toward him, winding her arms around his waist, "I'm sorry. I should've told you."

Jim barely registered himself melting into Barbara's embrace and burying his head in the crook of her neck. She held him tight and guided both of them over to the couch. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean to get so upset, I just-" he cried, voice muffled by her shirt. She just rubbed her hand up and down his back, squeezing him slightly.

"I didn't mean to get upset either. It's just- I don't know. I took it personally," she murmured, pressing a kiss into the side of his head. "Other people I've dated got mad when I told them I was bi, and I guess I just-" she let out a slight sigh, "I didn't think about- I didn't realize how it would sound to you, or- You know."

He didn't say anything, just hugged her tighter, and Barbara rested her head on top of his. "I love you, James Gordon."

"Love you too, B," he echoed, "And I'm sorry I- I got so upset. I just-" He didn't finish his sentence, just trailed off and let himself relax on Barbara's shoulder, arms still wrapped around her waist.

After a while, Jim's weight got heavier leaned up against her and Barbara could tell that he'd fallen asleep. She looked over his sleeping form, kissed him gently on the forehead, and ran a hand over his hair. For a second, things felt like they had before Jim had joined the GCPD. Peaceful. Nice.

But there was still that question looming over her head; who _was_ Oswald Cobblepot?


End file.
